Broken Memories
by SomethingOutOfNothing
Summary: "The Master knew he had made mistakes in his long life. But he knew the biggest one he'd made, and ever would make, was believing him when he said he'd never leave." The Master remembers some of the times he spent with Theta when they were young.


**I think you guys should all be aware that this was NEVER going to get published. But due to things outside my control *cough*Carly*cough* it is. Because someone was nagging me.**

**I have to admit though, I had fun writing this. Especially 13 years old. **

**Also, I don't own Doctor Who.**

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><p>"<em><strong>You only live forever in the lights you make, when we were young we used to say, that you only hear the music when your heart begins to break, now we are the kids from yesterday…" <strong>_

The Master didn't realise until he was older, but the drums were always worse when Theta wasn't around. He would never tell him, not now, not with how they were, but the noise, it was almost like music, _taptaptaptap, 1234, _it was the always the worst when they were fighting. Maybe that was why it was almost constant in his life now.

He was only young when he first heard the drums, the music in his head, his own person beat. He would have been about five, and he would never forget the events before it. Sometimes, when he was sure no one else was around, he would close his eyes and just remember the good times, as well as some of the bad.

_**3 years old**_

_Time Lords were quite advanced, even at a young age, so by the time a young one was three years old, they were walking, talking, feeding themselves and stringing together full sentences. Their minds were of course, still developing, but there personalities- their souls- were already fully intact by the time they hit four years old. _

_And on one fateful day, when Koschei and Theta were three years old, the day that would never be forgotten by the poor lady, who was unfortunate enough to have the shift at the Gallifreyan Nursery , when Koschei met Theta, and two of those already set personalities seemed to collide. _

_Theta was a social boy, everybody knew, when he was running around, chasing and being chased, Koschei was sitting alone in a corner, building a tower or reading a book. On that day, Koschei had built an exact scaled replica of the massive building his father worked in, and Theta was being chased by a younger boy, not watching where he was going…_

_Until he tripped over Koschei's left over pieces, and tumbled face first into the building. "Look what you did!" Koschei yelled at him, when normal boys his age would have cried, he just felt anger towards the other boy. "You ruined it!"_

"_I'm sorry." Theta said, standing up, looking quite scared, but holding his ground. "I'll help you rebuild it."_

"_I don't want you to." Koschei said folding his arms over his chest, sounding almost as if his only objection was it would mean forgiving the other boy of this horrible crime. He didn't even know this boy until a few moments ago, and already he knew he probably wouldn't like him. Not that it mattered. Koschei didn't particularly like anybody. _

"_Too bad." Theta had said sounding determined, picking up the first block and rebuilding Koschei's creation from memory. Koschei watched the boy and huffed, taking a seat next to him, building on to where Theta had started. _

_And from that day, the Nursery staff were never short of mischief being caused by the pair, but they almost never saw Koschei without Theta or Theta without Koschei. _

_**8 years old**_

_Theta and Koschei had been playing in Koschei's back garden, playing a traditional Gallifreyan children's game, when suddenly Theta was stomping angrily away from Koschei because Koschei had refused to give him the ball. It was a typical child's spat really. Nothing unusual about it, except what happened to him next. _

_That was when he first heard them, just as Theta walked away._

_The drums. _

_He didn't see Theta for days after that, and the noise inside his head just continued to grow and grow. It was as if every time he thought about the boy he called his best friend the drums would get aggravated and try to drown those thoughts out. Taptaptaptap, 1234. He couldn't control it, but it hurt. He cried out in pain, his head feeling as if it was going to burst open. His mother had called a doctor, but no one knew what to do. "Why won't it stop? The drums! Why won't they be quiet?" _

_He saw Theta the next day. He had a scared look on his face like Koschei had never seen before. He could see from the redness of his eyes and the faint trace of tears that he'd been crying. "Theta? What's wrong?"_

"_They said… They said you could be dying." Theta replied sitting himself on the chair that Koschei's mother had been sitting in since he got sick. _

"_I'm not going to die Theta," Koschei said, taking Theta's tiny hand in his own. "I feel better already." Theta smiled. _

"_You don't want this then?" Theta asked, holding up Koschei's favourite sweets. "Mother said I could only give them to you because you are sick."_

_Koschei stared at the sweets then broke out in a grin. "I might be," Koschei inserted a fake cough for effect, even though he knew no one would buy it, "a little sick still."_

_Theta stayed by Koschei's side until he was well enough to walk around again, and even then, he stayed for days after. _

_**10 years old**_

_Theta had always been rather sentimental, whereas Koschei always saw a ball as a ball, no matter who it was a gift from. He'd never seen the point of having special spots or handshakes or code words. _

_But when he was ten years old, Koschei started to understand why people might want sentimentality in their life. It made a person feel special. Theta made Koschei feel special with silly little things, like the way he laughed when he tickled him, or big things, like the special handshake they'd made up, and the tree house they'd made together._

_It even had a code word. _

_They went to the tree house every day; it was the one thing they cherished above anything else. It was theirs. One day when they'd been sitting in it, watching the sun go down Theta turned to him. "Do you think you'll ever get a girlfriend? Or get married?"_

_Koschei thought carefully for a few minutes, and then shook his head slightly. "No, I don't think so." _

_Theta looked at him, surprised. "Why not?" Koschei was more than aware by that age that he had the looks to be able to win over any Time Lady he wanted. _

_Koschei shrugged, "'Cause I've got you."_

_Theta just grinned at him. _

_**13 years old**_

"_Hey Koschei!" Koschei heard his name being called across the academy grounds, but didn't turn around when he identified the voice as that of a regular bully. He knew he would only cause trouble, and do his damnedest to get Koschei into as much trouble as he could. And Theta too, but it was a rare occasion when Theta wasn't with him. He was on his own. "Where's your boyfriend?"_

_Koschei rolled his eyes at the unoriginal insult that the buffoons still laughed at. Despite the perception of Time Lords among the rest of the universe as being an intelligent race, there were still those among them that were so very… Average. He turned around, "the library, where you should be, if you ever intend to live up to your fathers standards. Or you know… Even finish school."_

"_You think you're so clever don't ya?" the bully sneered in his face. _

_Koschei tilted his head to the side, pretending to think about the question. "Compared to you… Yeah."_

_Then before he knew it, Koschei had a blood lip, and his arms were being held by two boys much older and bigger than himself. They were in an area where they couldn't be seen by anyone walking past, so Koschei knew he only had two options: Take the beating they were handing him, or try and fight his way out. He knew that if he tried to fight, he would have a fifty per cent chance of winning. The boys were big, but they weren't smart about how they used that. But he could also hear Theta's voice in the back of his mind, telling him not to fight. Theta wasn't one for violence, no matter what. _

_And Koschei knew that if he fought back, he would do something he never wanted to do: He would disappoint Theta. _

_So he stood there, taking the blows that were dealt to him, until they all started to blur together. A punch to the jaw, he heard a crack that made him wince at the sound, he didn't feel the pain but he did hear the other boy howl in pain, Koschei let a grin slip onto his face at that. He got three punches to the gut for that, a split lip, two black eyes, four fractured rips and a very wounded ego later, he was dropped to the dirt and left to curl himself into a ball, ignoring how his ribs protested, until someone found him. _

_He saw Theta running over to him, pain making his mind go fuzzy. "I didn't fight, I promise… I didn't…" Koschei managed to say to the three blurry Thetas that were swimming in front of him, just before his eyes fluttered closed. The last thing he felt was Theta stroking his hair gently as he let his body heal. _

_**16 years old**_

"_Hey Theta?" Koschei asked, trying to seem casual, while playing with Theta's fingers, which were intertwined with his own. _

"_Yeah?" Theta asked, not looking down from the stars they were lying under in an attempted to get away from his violently disapproving father. There was a bruise on his cheek that was only just starting to show, and would be missed if the moonlight wasn't lighting his face. _

"_How long is this going to last?" Koschei asked him, nervousness creeping into his voice. "Because… When I'm not with you… The drums… they're so loud in my head. When I'm alone I don't know what to do; I just want them to be quiet! I just want peace in my own mind! And when I'm with you… I have that."_

_Theta let his eyes drop from the beautiful Gallifrey sky and look over at Koschei. His best friend. The love of his life, and every one to come. "This," Theta punctuated with a brief kiss, "is going to last," and another, "forever." Theta said, ending his sentence with a passionate kiss, letting Koschei take control. _

_**18 years old **_

_Theta stared at Koschei and Koschei stared right back. Theta was barely controlling the tears pooling in his eyes and Koschei's jaw was clenched so tightly together that his teeth were actually aching, but neither broke eye contact. Koschei couldn't believe what had just come out of his own mouth. He was shocked that he could even put those words together, but despite that he repeated himself, "Run away from me. As fast as you can."_

_Theta shook his head, a few tears falling from his eyes. "No." He was determined. "I told you, I'm never going to leave."_

"_Theta, I don't know what's happening to me! But the drums… They're so loud!" Koschei started clawing at his head. Why did they always seem worse when he was angry at Theta? Maybe it was what was left of his mind playing tricks on him, or maybe it was something more. "And they make me so… Dangerous!" _

"_No Koschei," Theta said stepping forward. "You're not dangerous. You never could be." Theta took his hands. "Because you've got me, okay?" _

_Koschei looked at him for a long time before a question so quiet he was surprised Theta heard it, came from his mouth. "Promise?"_

_Theta smiled faintly, taking the slightly shaking Koschei into his arms, "Yeah." He whispered into Koschei's neck. "Always." _

The Master knew he had made mistakes in his long life. He'd probably never admit it to anybody, though because, to be fair, there weren't many… But he had made them, no matter how rare. But he knew the biggest one he'd made, and ever would make, was believing _him _when he said he'd never leave.

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><p><strong>The end. And I swear, this time will be the last time I write DM. I know I said that three D/M fics ago... **

**Don't judge me. If you're going to, do it in the form of a review.**


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